当你照镜子时...她已悄悄地躲进你眼珠里...

就是你啊...笨蛋...

封闭的门?

好几个月前...
我就把心封闭了起来...
无人能懂...也不让任何人走进来...
每天带着面具...游走在人群中一天又一天...
即使内心被孤独侵噬着...却让自己去学着享受孤独...
对我而言...这世界是寂寞的...
再爱我的人...我也是那么的无所谓...
我不会打开我的心门...让爱进来

原以为这门会关上一辈子...
会生锈...会没有钥匙...会没开锁的人...
可偏偏在这时候...

门开了...

The Conversation's Review

Today, just dont feel right. reason is, some1 which means a lot to me told me bout her passed, (which i wont reveal it here cuz of her privacy)..Im really sad about it, my heart now, so confuse, some how mingled wif sadness too. While typing this blog, my tears are dropping and there is a deep pain in my heart, i never plan or check or even think what should i write here, mayb the reason i keep on typing is to fill up my empty space, although frens are beside me and always playing and teasing me, but then, theres a hole in my heart, i dont know how to describe it..But it always haunts me when i think of it, i felt lonely,heart-ache, as if im trying to find a key to unlock my heart, but then all the key aint right, it needs something stronger like antidotes to take away the indelible poison, which in other word, sadness. I dont feel like replying her, but i am forcing myself to do, so that she wont know whats happening to me. I dont really know if im good at pretending, but then my smile is fading slowly, no one can protect it from fading away.

i dont wish to continue. perhaps ill stop here and take a good sleep, hoping that everything will b fine on the next morning.

可不可以...不做你的朋友...

我想独占你...可是你缺不属于任何人...
我好喜欢你...你也喜欢我...?
可是我们所说的喜欢一定有所差别...
我不想想太多...可是我越在意你越感到难过...

好烦好烦好烦好烦好烦好烦好烦好烦...

我喜欢你...但我却不曾告诉你...
怕你知道后觉得困扰...
怕你知道后感到害怕...
怕你知道后不喜欢我...
怕你知道后会讨厌我...
怕你知道后会疏远我...

我不懂自己在想什么...我自己也不懂我在想什么...
当你告诉我你现在有了男友...我简直就傻去了...
你不是我的情人...我也不是你的谁...

我没资格管你交朋友...
我没资格管你做什么...
我没资格管你想什么...
我没资格干涉你什么...

因为和你只是朋友...
朋友的定位在哪...？
我对你是爱情吗...?
我不知道...也不清楚...
感觉很痛苦...一直压抑...
装作不在乎...当作没事...
我好累...我很犹豫...该让你知道...?
还是不说...然后在你面前耍自闭...
引起你的关心...我好诈...
这样说很矛盾...可是我就是要你烦恼我...
些许透露让你知道我是烦着你的事...

不过让你困扰...也会让你产生反感...
就算我对你的感情真的是爱情...你一定是无法接受的...
而且你也不会在乎...

不想说...因为我害怕会失去你...
我想说...因为我想让你在乎我...

Bout MA Current Life...Stress

To tell the truth, im actually skipped my physic class while im posting this blog up...

Sometimes, I really wonder why am I here, struggling for fresh air? I guess not, the damn polluted air here is killing us slowly, till then, what was the reason? Everyday, I was late for class, was not paying attention class, and its went worse when I skip at least 1 or 2 class everyday….

I felt that there is a great force pressing on me when I thought of the final which drop on 1st or 2nd week of November, there is still a lot of things for mi to catch up, everyday I was telling my friends that I wanted to change this kind of fxxking retarded life, by controlling myself from spending more time on others unnecessary things instead of my studies, but the motivation will went off just in few minutes, or even few seconds, perhaps human beings are used to be like that, or I’m the only one, no one knows, and no one cares.

Well, this is how life goes on, a tedious life..

guess I will stop here,having class soon....